…well apart from finding a website that tells me how to tie my shoes…

My cousin Laura, who is taking a Media Design class, got the okay to use one of my poems for a design project she has to do.  The poem, (My Wedding) is one of my favorites (that I wrote (how conceited is that)) and I am pretty excited about it.  Anyway, according to her “It’s basically supposed to be a lot of still photographs with music and voice-over of the poem.”  I thought I would stick the poem up here.  I’m also planning on including it in the chapbook Hannah is helping me put together…

My Wedding

If an ancient mariner

showed up at my wedding

I would be pissed, unless

he brought a very expensive

gift, like a nice china set or some crystal,

and then I would be

a little annoyed, but I would

let him stay.

Then he would probably end up getting

too drunk (I’ve heard mariners are rowdy)

and leading the Congo line right into a wall

Or else trying to put the moves on

my mother who would also

be too drunk and would

only encourage him

Maybe he would be one of those weepy drunks

and start whining about that damn albatross

to anyone that would listen and

everyone would be like,

“whoa that ancient mariner needs to be

cut off”

Anyway, it wouldn’t ruin my

wedding, it would only

be one of those things my husband and I

would joke about on the plane to our honeymoon in

Russia, and my friends

would joke about at the

scrabble parties we would host

in the years to come

 ”Oh remember that

ancient mariner,” we’d say over a glass of wine, “and how he showed up

at the wedding and wouldn’t stop

talking?”

And I’d say, “boy, he really smelled bad,

but I guess being at sea on a ship full of dead people

and wearing a dead bird around your neck

can really do that to you” and everyone would

laugh and say, “oh, you’re so terrible”

meaning funny,

and then I would put down the

word “zygotes” and win the game

But really this is all

one big “what if” because

what are the chances of

an ancient mariner

showing up at my wedding

anyway?

Tags: ancient Mariners, poems, self-promotion, weddings