Sep 12 2008
Proud American
I recently saw Tropic Thunder in the theatre and before it, I had the pleasure of seeing a trailer for a movie called Proud American. The trailer was very confusing to me, as Tropic Thunder already had a series of fake and ridiculously over the top previews before it and it was very hard to tell if this ridiculously over the top preview was real or not. When it started I began looking around at people next to me with a shocked, “is this really happening?” type gaze. Anyway, it is real. Very, very real.
Ladies and gentlemen, MasterCard, Coca-Cola, Wal-Mart present Proud American, a film by Fred Ashman who, according to the IMDB has pretty much only made… Proud American:
When this preview started, I initially thought it was a join the Marines commercial. “Ah, they god rid of that guy climbing a mountain and fighting a digital dragon,” I thought. “That’s nice.” I quickly realized however that this was a trailer (although fake or real I still couldn’t tell) mainly because some with a deep voice starting saying things like “A kid from one of the toughest neighborhoods in the world, faces tought choices.” On one hand the deep voiced narration and glossy overall feel made it seem like someone spent a fair amount of money on the whole thing, on the other, it seemed so over the top…with shots of the grand canyon intermixed with footage of pretty much every war memorial that exist, as well as a bunch of sailors. Then the dialogue started and confused me even more.
By far, the best part of this trailer is when Ruthie from 7th Heaven tells the poor immigrant girl she can’t sit at their table in the lunch room and then says “don’t you have a boat to catch” one of the worst and greatest “burns” I have ever heard. The girl looks like she’s about 30, and I feel sort of sad for Ruthie. I mean, is this really the only work she could get after 7th Heaven? At least Jessica Biel is dating Justin Timberlake, which I would consider a fulltime job.
I also like the part where the paralyzed Navy Seal is inspired to participate in a marathon by some guy who comes in his hospital room, waves a medal in his face, and says “this is to remind you of who you are!” I wonder how often this happens in actual hospital situations. Like when I was a freshman JV basketball player (the only time in my life I was ever a basketball player) I won “Most Improved Player.” Where I to ever be in a hospital, wanting to give up, I wonder if my mom would run in waving the certificate in the air and yelling that I should remember who I am.
According to Walmart and Coca-Cola, this is what America is all about. People in the most clichéd possible situations… I mean uh, “some of the most touching human moments ever presented on the giant screen” (according to the official site).
I plan on buying a Proud American coffee mug to show my support.
