So of course I have to preface this entire thing by saying how much I love my mom and how well she does actually know me since we talk constantly and she’s one of the best friends I could ask for…
… and then I have to go ahead and ruin all the goodwill and niceness that was created by that statement by saying that if you looked around my house at the things she has given me you would think that she knows one thing, and one thing only: I like cats.
In all fairness, I do like cats. I have a cat, I spend my weekend volunteering with a cat rescue organization, and when I was about 10 I used to collect various cat paraphernalia (but let’s not talk about that). All of this, however, just makes me more painfully aware of the thin line I walk between really liking cats (and animals in general), and becoming an insane cat lady that buys litter in bulk at Costco. I volunteer with quite a few women that actually wear cat jewelry and sign emails “purrs and pets,” and I recently considered getting a new cat, but had to weigh very heavily the fact that it would be mean that cats would outnumber humans at my house. Currently, I have one cat, I’m young, I’m attractive, I do talk about things other than cats, but this is how it starts I think. I mean, crazy old cat ladies weren’t born that way I would think, once upon the time they were young and attractive and not reeking of cat urine too, right? Then they got that second cat, and the third and the house filled with cat related goodies and it was all over.
So you can see why I am nervous, at any moment the scale could be tipped and I could head down the cat lady path towards my destiny. And helping to tip that scale is the massive amount of cat-stuff my mom buys me.
It’s sort of like my mom just met me, and she likes me, but she was only told one thing about my entire personality: that I like cats. It’s similar to when you work at a job and people only really know a few things about you, like that you always eat a tuna fish sandwich for lunch and so they then comment on this almost every single day. “Hey, tuna fish again, eh?” They’re being friendly, but it’s also sad because they really only know one thing about you. I once worked at a job all summer where the only thing people seemed to figure out about me was that I liked elephants, which I think I mentioned once. When I then left the job, almost every single card I received included an elephant in some form (if those people had really asked me, they could have determined that in addition to elephants I also liked beer and (at the time) smokes). Anyway, this is what my mom knows about me. I like cats. So she buys me a completely ridiculous amount of cat stuff.
Lest you think I am exaggerating, I have selected below a few key cat items to show off. Enjoy, and if you ever come to my house, please keep this post in mind and do not judge…
1. The Porcelain Cat Teapot
When my mom gave this to me, my first reaction was that it would be the perfect thing to set out if I never want a boy to come in my bedroom ever, ever again. I picture it going something like this:
Boy: Want to go in your room?
Me: Sure.
Boy: Wait, is that a porcelain teapot?
Me: Yes.
Boy: With cats having tea on it?
Me: It appears so.
Boy: Let’s just go watch TV instead.
Perhaps this was my mom’s intent, to protect my innocence, but more likely this teapot was on sale at Marshall’s.
2. Cat Oven Mitts
At this point, the fact that my mom buys me cat stuff has become sort of a joke, so I think she was kidding with this one. Still if you can avoid anthropomorphizing, these oven mitts are handy AND adorable!
3. Very Large Fall Looking Cat
My mom got me this cat, also from Marshall’s I think, because it looks sort of like Rotten Ralph who was my favorite when I was a kid. That’s pretty sweet mom, and it also shows that you know something about me other than the fact that I like cats (I also like books about cats). Nonetheless, the fall looking cat is sort of terrifying. And as you can see below, my actual cat is not a fan.
4. This Thing
Um. If you know what this is, please tell me.
5. Cat Stationary
“Hold on a second, let me take down that crucial number on my cat stationary here…” I say that nearly every single day.
The cat stationary is in some ways the worst offender because I think overall it is the subtle cat lady things that really send you off the deep end, like when you start having cat pens, and cat stationary. Anyway, another reason I posted this picture is so that everyone could see I use my cat stationary to play Scrabble and this is a game where I very obviously had a bingo and kicked ass.
Maybe my mom wiill read this blog and see this particular part and realize I like Scrabble too. Maybe then I could get some sweet Scrabble cufflinks or a new board…
PS: I love you mom!
Tags: cat stuff, Cats, My Mom
