Arianna Georgi

 Poor bees.  Not only are they disappearing at a terrifying rate, but whenever they do set up a home and try and get comfortable someone tries to give them or their hive away for free on Craigslist.  Like this guy:

I just found out we had this hive last night after work. I don’t have time or interest in messing with it. The pic was taken yesterday closest to the edge of deck. Had I had the courage to pan over to the right and take another picture you would have another 12 feet of comb running along three spacings between the framing. Some comb hanging down two feet long! Total area of comb 36 square feet? But there could be two hives under there from what it looks like.

My wife is terribly allergic to bees. I hear there are africanized bees in San Diego now, so if you want to split the honey 50/50 and your remove the comb and all let me know.

Personally, I don’t think this sounds like a very good deal.  You have to come to this guy’s house, remove the hive for free, and you only get to keep “half” the honey???  I think normally you have to pay people to remove bee hives, especially if you fear they are dangerous “Africanized” bees.  If any honey is involved, I think the person that risked their life with dangerous bee removal gets to keep it.

I decided to email this guy to see if he was really hung-up on the 50/50 honey situation, letting him know I would remove the bees, but I was unlikely to let him keep the honey if I did.  “I’ll take care of your bees,” I wrote, “but I want ALL the honey.  Is this okay?”  I have yet to hear back, but I will let you know if I do.  If push comes to shove I am willing to negotiate a 30/70 honey situation, but no less.  We’ll see…

Tags: bees, Free Stuff, honey

Sometimes I feel like there is a giant anti-feminist conspiracy to make women look like idiots by simply taking the most idiotic women possible and the presenting them as representatives for us all on TV or magazine covers.  I would like to point to Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, The Hills, and pretty much any other show on MTV as evidence.  If there are aliens somewhere in space receiving our radio signals and desperately trying to decipher our culture, I am pretty sure that between these shows and Sarah Palin they are going to come to the conclusion that the majority of human females either spend most of their time in jacuzzis throwing drinks on each other and fighting over washed up rap/rock stars or mispronouncing the word nuclear and winking.  When they show up they may be shocked to discover some of do not have fake breasts and are able to name multiple national newspapers.If this is the case, The Lingerie Football League is doing a really great job, as is this piece/video art project I stumbled across on San Diego’s Union Tribune site:

http://www.video.signonsandiego.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=2310748&item_index=1&all=1&sort=NULL

Let’s ignore the obviously things that are wrong with this video, like the fact that trying out for the lingerie football league involves no actual football experience, the fact that one girl has no idea who a linebacker is and has never really watched football, and the creepy casting couch style comments of the lingerie football league’s founder.  Instead I would like to present as evidence to support my theory the girl who says her training involved “eating rice crackers” and definitely not drinking water (because water and sports absolutely DO NOT mix).  I would also like to note the girl who states that “the bigger the silicon is” the “better off they are.”  This video makes me incredibly sad (and not just because I don’t personally think I could make the lingerie team).   

Tags: aliens, Lingerie Football League, San Diego

A recent assignment for my Promotional Copywriting class challenged me to pick an object on my desk (non-electronic) and write about for two pages. The idea was that we would be able to come up with some interesting copy, even about something really mundane, if we just kept writing.  I choose my Envelope Moistener.  I use constantly and it is probably my most beloved desk top item but it still was quite a challenge to write about for two whole pages.  After getting past the basics, (it’s blue, it seals envelopes), I found myself rambling on and on about my desk in general, and how everyone always wants to borrow it from me and I really, really hate sharing, and how bad glue tastes and then whether I should even be consuming massive amounts of glue.  I vowed that after the assignment I would google “envelope glue” and see what the general consensus was.

Wow.  Be prepared if you google “envelope glue” because it is hotly debated topic.  People on the web argue back and forth about whether it contains bug eggs (no), where the best recipe for making your own can be found, and whether or not it is gluten-free.  There also are several sites that involve girls freaking out about the possibility of the glue having a high calorie count and therefore secretly ruining their diets (if you are worried about calories from envelope glue an intervention is probably in order). 

A lot of sites are also devoted to the urban legend about a woman licking an envelope that has roach eggs in the glue and then having a live roach hatch out of her tongue.  A shocking number of people think this is completely medically possible and have devoted their sites to dire warnings and statements like “THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE.  PLEASE PASS THIS ON.”  To me, it sounds like something you would make up around a campfire, but whatever.

Anyway, the point of all this is that the internet continues to shock and astound me.  Google envelope glue and you get everything from hysterical warnings, to songs names after it (http://www.humblevoice.com/profile/components/word_gallery/word.php?iid=2982).  I would say that all it proves is that the majority of people in this country have way too much time on their hands, but it wouldn’t really be fair.  After all, here I am writing about envelope glue too. 

Tags: licking envelopes, Work

By the way, I know I’ve been slacking with the blogging lately.   I let it fall by the wayside in an effort to get ready to go to Baltimore and run the marathon there, but now that I finished I am back to San Diego and also martini drinking (actually that never really stopped) and writing about things I ridiculous and/or awesome. 

Anyway, in case you were curious, the marathon went really well (in a marathon sort of way- I didn’t die and finished in a time I liked) and this year it actually looks like the photographers managed to get a few pictures of me that were actually decent (normally being shot from the ground up when I am in pain results in photos where I look like I am about to pass out gut first).  Feel free to check them out and maybe even buy some wallet size. 

Plenty of things seem to be annoying me this week so I should be posting more frequently from here on out…

Tags: I'm back, marathon, photos

While I was looking at things to do this weekend, I came upon the following:

The Tequila Festival and Expo is returning to Tijuana, BC MX on October 12 through 19 at the Revolution Avenue. The festival is an exciting and culturally intense event because its main focus is on educating visitors on, and tasting the many different types of tequila in Mexico.

Five Star Tours is providing one of a kind tours to the annual Tequila Expo in Tijuana, MX. The Tequila Expo is an event where participants will have the opportunity to taste and savor over 100 different tequilas from different parts of Mexico. You will also learn how to distinguish by taste, smell and color what makes very good tequila. You can also buy and import all tequilas on sight for your pleasure at your home or wherever it may lead. The Tequila Expo Tour will be one of the best tours you’ll ever take this side of the border.

Upon boarding a tequila expert will teach you the history of tequila and how to be able to distinguish certain tequilas by different factors. We also have an opportunity to taste tequila on board the bus! The tequila expert will give the best tips on how to find Tequila bargains.

We will cross the border and proceed to the Expo. There you will go leisurely to taste, sample, learn & buy the tequilas of your choice. Remember it is UNLIMITED Tequila Tasting at its Finest!

Also, you will have free time to do shopping & have lunch at your own leisure (lunch is not included)

Now, I am not one of those people that turns pale and dry-heaves when peoeple mention tequila, but I will admitt that most nights that involve tequila shots for me don’t really end in going to be with a glass of warm milk (especially if the nigh also does not include food).  I can only imagine what an entire Tequila Expo would do.  There’s an attempt there to class up the idea of pounding tequila by calling the whole thing a tequila “education” and bringing a tequila “expert,” but really isn’t this just going to end the same way?  (Also, how do you become a tequila expert?  Years and years of tequila school?)   The statement that, “You can also buy and import all tequilas on sight for your pleasure at your home or wherever it may lead” really doesn’t make me feel any less uneasy about this whole thing… since the only place tequila has lead me to before was passing out in a park and playing fake guitar at a kareoke bar (see below). 

Anyway, I just wanted to make a short note of it before I headed off to work.  Is anyone planning on going?  Does anyone else think that this is pretty much the worst idea ever?

Tags: Bad Ideas, Tequila