Arianna Georgi

Sometimes when my friends tell me stories about their babies, the only way I can relate is to bring up my cats. “I just feel a little worried about leaving him,” someone will tell me about their anxiety over their upcoming trip to Cabo and their three month old. “I know exactly how you feel,” I’ll say, “when we got Hot Dog I left like a week later to go to Park City and I was really stressed the whole time.”
I always throw in “not that I am comparing your baby to my cat” because that is the polite thing to say, but really that is exactly what I am doing. I have compared my friend’s babies to my cats when we discuss feeding, discipline, and funny habits like chewing on blankets. “It’s so funny how she has her own little personality already,” my friend will tell me about her newborn. “I know Charlie had a very definite little character like that from the time he was a kitten.”
All of this may just be a symptom of my much larger and more worrying descent into a full-on crazy cat lady, but I think it has more to do with the fact that things are changing and it’s hard for me not to get left behind. In the last three years almost all of my friends, mostly without consenting me first, have decided to take the headlong plunge into motherhood. I’m at least five years out from even considering the thought. Actually my most frequent reoccurring nightmare is that I discover I’m five months pregnant and had no idea. Panicked because I have been drinking and (occasionally, when I am drunk, smoking) and eating sushi I rush to the doctor but nothing can be done. At the end of the dream I give birth to a dog. I don’t even like dogs.
So lately I am Peter Pan tapping on the windows of my Wendy friends. “Let’s go do keg stands,” I yell, “let’s spend 150 dollars on a meal at that new restaurant downtown.” They smile at me sadly and shut the shades. The only thing I can even come close to comparing the responsibility of having a newborn to is having a cat. And one time I got drunk and accidentally locked the cat in my bathroom all right. I am pretty sure you can’t do that a baby.
And that’s just it. I have no idea what the hell I am talking about and not even a basic understanding of why my friends are so tired all the time, or why they suddenly want to talk more about poop then beer. But I am trying. It’s because I know my friends are worth fighting to relate to, even if the whole motherhood thing is beyond me now. One day when I have thirty cats, I’ll expect the same in return from them.

My marathon finishing blanket:

Tags: Unintentional Cat Toys

Because I like setting myself up for situations that resemble lame sitcom plots and because I love animals, I got suckered into being Santa Claus this Saturday at my local Petco.  This means that from 1:30-4 pm or so I will be dressed in a beard, pretending to be jolly, and taking photos with people’s pets.  And since my office Christmas party/Booze Cruise is tomorrow (and since I plan on introducing everyone involved to the West Coast Margarita) I will also probably be trying my best to avoid vomiting on chihuahuas and regretting being born for most of the time.  I am doing this because no one else would, five dollars of every photo go to Rescue House, and I’ve always wanted to dress as Santa and bring people joy (that last part is a lie).  Seriously though, come down and torment me.  I encourage you to do it.   Email me if you need more info.

I will be the Santa that smells like stale West Coast Margarita.  Expect a blog about the experience to follow.

Tags: Cats, Petco, rescue house, Santa, Worst Hangover Ever

 I really shouldn’t be allowed to write a blog about pet psychics.  I mean seriously, what else is there to say/make fun of/comment on the ridiculousness of?   It is possible that every joke there is to be made about pet psychics has already been said, and if not, that dog whisperer guy, although he seems nice enough, is sort of a walking joke so he can cover the rest.  Writing about Pet Psychic is like blogging about how annoying  Sarah Palin is, or how funny that dramatic Prairie Dog video is.  It has already been done… (but I am going to do it anyway).

The thing about pet psychics is that I thought they were only on TV, until the other day when I went to Pet People to get my cat some cat stuff.  Pet People has a bulletin board and on were about 10 different fliers for pet psychics all promising things like “I will use pictures of your pet and speak to spirit guides to help you solve your behavioral problems” but also all with disclaimers like “I cannot guarantee your pet will stop destroying your shoes.”  The number of local psychics was astounding again, when I came home and did an internet search.  I found this UT article about pet psychics, where the woman (who insists on calling herself an animal communicator, because a psychic “sees the future” and a communicator “looks into the animal’s heart”) states that she communicates with animals through invisible airwaves.  I also found a website of a local psychic who says that after a session “Your mutual understanding will be increased, as will your awareness of his or her (the pet’s) emotional and physical concerns.” 

I really can’t say that I find animal communicators or pet psychics that bad.  I think for the most part, most people spend far too little time thinking about the feelings of any animal, let alone their pets.  If we start thinking of animals more as little beings with feelings than it could only be good for animals overall (that was my annoying animal rights moment, don’t worry I am done).  But, that said, there is still something a little tiny bit silly about the whole thing.  Or so I thought until I saw that the woman above charges 195 bucks for 90 minutes.  195!  With the economy falling apart and unemployment up I think it might be worthwhile to peruse a career in animal communication.   I don’t think there’s an actual school you go to, according to these bios you just have to practice with your animals a lot.  I began practice last night, videotaping some of Charlie’s more mysterious behavior.  Here’s what I have so far.  If you like it, I will do my psychic readings for your poet for 185 dollars/90 minutes.  How’s that for a deal???

Behavior One: Frantically Scratching The Scratching Post for About 5 Seconds and Then Becoming Completely Disinterested. 

Psychic Comments:  Charlie is trying to demonstrate his strength and power.  In his last life, he was a Mongolian Warlord who destroyed villages so being a cat is kind of a blow to his ego.  The frantic scratching and destruction of the cat toy should prove that he is still strong and terrifying to you.  Reassure him, by praising his claws and telling him how awesome he is. 

Behavior Two:  Staring at his Cube Toys for About 5 Seconds and Then Becoming Completely Disinterested

Psychic Comments:  In another past life, Charlie was a nomad.  Theoretically, he is always seeking his “home.”  The cubes are a false home for him and although he examines them carefully, hoping that he can finally end his travels, they are inferior.  Buy him new cubes.

Behavior Three: Charlie stares at me for a few seconds… then leaves

Psychic Interpretation: Even the cat thinks you are an idiot.

Tags: Cats, Charlie, Pet Psychics

So, the animal rescue group I volunteer with is putting out a calendar in an attempt to raise money.  I felt obligated to plug it here:

The folks here at Qualcomm have collected the best pictures of their furry friends (some of them are Rescue House kitties), and put together a calendar. These are for sale for $15, with the proceeds (after expenses) being donated to The Rescue House.  If you would like to order one of these calendars, send a check made payable to Daniel Atwood, to me at the address listed.  Please send me an email letting me know if you would like me to have one (or more) put aside for you.  They make great Christmas gifts.

Make Check Payable to Daniel Atwood and mail to:

Kandi Baxter
10437 Londonderry Avenue
San Diego, CA  92126

Want a sneak peak at what the pictures look like?Not only do you get an 11″ x 8 1/2″ calendar full of adorable pictures, but the money you spend purchasing one helps pay for food, litter, toys, and medicine for our kids at the Rescue House.

I agree, this is an ideal gift for someone that already has a lifetime subscription to Cat Fancy magazine, cat potholders, a cat teapot, or cat stationary… or if you are my mom looking buy me something for the holidays (see my Cat Stuff Post).

Tags: Cats, rescue house