Archive for November, 2010

Nov 09 2010

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AGeorgi

Proving I Don’t Suck

Filed under Stupid TV


When I was in college I didn’t buy my cigarettes at the corner deli.  I regularly went to the corner deli for toilet paper, beer, pints of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, and stale fried rice at 3 in the morning; but not cigarettes.  Why was this?  Because I couldn’t stand the thought of the sweet looking man who at the counter and his awkward 13-year old mustached son knowing I smoked.  I smoked two packs a day and New York is very cold in the winter, but still I made the trek to the “other deli” the one that smelled like onions and was manned by a very unfriendly woman who wouldn’t make eye contact.  I just couldn’t deal with the idea of the man and his son, at home, saying things like “she looked so sweet” or “who knew” (probably not in English, but you get the idea). 

I don’t smoke anymore, but I am still consistently shocked by the lengths I go to just to prove to strangers, (who could probably care less), that I have a strong moral character and don’t suck.  At the gym, I often force myself to watch CNN.   The gym TVs have cable and there is a full range of Kardashian and Jersey Shore-related TV to tempt me, but I can’t stand the thought that other gyms goers would know  I watch that stuff. 

“Look at her,” they would think haughtily while they watch KPBS, “rotting her mind with reality TV!” 

A similar thing occurs at the doctor’s office, where although I would love to read about the latest Teen Mom crisis in US Weekly, I read National Geographic. 

“Look at her!”  I imagine the doctor saying to the nurses, “a young woman reading National Geographic!  What uncommon class!”

The list goes on and on.  I don’t buy beer at the pharmacy when I pick up my (very routine) prescription (because the pharmacist would judge), I have a hard time reading the junk chick-lit novels I want on planes (because people would assume that’s what I always read), I force myself to order the more adventurous dish over the typical one (because I’m that kind of girl).  I strive to impress people who probably don’t even give me a second glance.  And what does it get me?  An hour of bored elliptical machine, ignorance about the lives of teen moms, and no beer!  Not to mention walks through the snow and rain…. 

Anyway, my New Year’s Resolution this year (yes, it is only November, I’m a planner, I plan a few months ahead) is to stop over-thinking.  Not just this, but work, friends, and everything.  I’m going to relax and go with it.  And if the guy next to me on the plan thinks I am ditz because I have the latest Twightlight novel, I guess that’s just how it goes.

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Nov 01 2010

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AGeorgi

The Notebook Sucks

So I finally watched The Notebook, a movie I have had on my list for the last five years or so, mainly because it is constantly on Top 100 lists:

  • Top 100 Chick Flicks
  • Top 100 Movies to Make You Cry
  • Top 100 Movies with an Office Supply in the Title
  • Top 100 movies with Unrealistic Male Characters Women Compare Their Boyfriend To. 

Anyway, I have been wanting a good cry, and it seems unanimous that this is like the saddest movie of all time, and it was on demand, so I watched it.

My review in two words:  It sucks.  Here’s why:

1.  The dude is pretty much a creepy stalker

I know it’s supposed to be romantic, but in the first thirty minutes the guy:

  • Stares creepily at the girl while she rides a merry-go-round
  • Threatens to kill himself if the girl won’t go out with him
  • Makes the girl lie down in the middle of the road in front of oncoming traffic

I am not a very romantic person myself, but I am pretty sure these things are huge red flags and not at all romantic.

2.  The Sex Scene SUCKS

You know what was sexy?  That time we had sex in a gross abandoned house and we just stared at each other and then took off our clothes with zero foreplay.  Oh, wait, that wasn’t sexy, that was just the sex scene in The Notebook.

3.  The actual notebook is not around that much and the guy should just buy a computer already

Enough said.

4.  And most importantly…The movie is NOT sad

Once upon a time two people feel madly in love with each other and then got married and lived together for like 30 years.  Seriously.  The only adversity they faced was super hot James Marsden and he was totally nice about the whole thing.  Boo-hoo.  Get over it people.

Anyway, I was utterly disappointed by how NOT SAD this movie was and I am now mad at every one of you who told me it was good.  Next time I want to cry I will watch Armageddon.

 

 

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