Oct 17 2008
Pregnant Ladies
Last night, the Office episode focused on a baby shower that Michael threw for Jan. While I love the Office, and uncomfortable humor is sort of their staple, last night’s episode made me particularly uncomfortable because it reminded me how extremely awkward I am around pregnant people.
In the last year, three of my close friends have all had babies and I think I handled it pretty well. It’s largely because they all were totally cool about it. Amy brought her sarcastic quips and trademark sense of humor to the situation (after a particularly funny Onion article she let me call the baby, “the parasite”), Ryan didn’t let the whole thing stop him from going to poker night (although to be fair he wasn’t the pregnant one), and Heather Ray let me take pictures of her balancing beers on her belly at my birthday party. But they are some of my best friends. With strangers or acquaintances I am still at a total loss.
The small talk situations are what really get me. For some reason, the only thing I can find to bring up to talk to them about is their pregnancy, but then once I do there’s really nowhere to go. I have little to nothing in common with a pregnant person as I spend the majority of my time engaging in extreme physical activity and drinking, and they spend most of their time practicing breathing and avoiding caffeine (I think). I either resort to asking really inane questions (”Ready to have that baby yet?”), or blurting out facts about other people I know who have had babies (”My Godson is a really big baby 95th percentile” or “When my best friend was pregnant she said it was uncomfortable”). Normally I am sort of in the clear anyway because in my experience most pregnant people love to talk about how pregnant they are and, to quote the “You’ll Do” video, basically “act as if they were the first pregnant people ever.” But for those who are actually tired of talking about the whole thing and maybe even irritable because they are creating human life and I am asking them inane questions, the conversation trails off into silence. At that point I stare at their belly and ask more questions/make statement, while they uncomfortably answer (”Yes I do get morning sickness, thanks for bringing that up”).
Anyway, hopefully I will get better at the whole thing some day, but for now if you are pregnant it may be best to avoid me until you can drink again.
The end result of the whole being pregnant thing: babies like my awesome Godson, who I am becoming slightly less awkward around.
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