Archive for September, 2008

Sep 15 2008

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AGeorgi

The New Urban Outfitters Catalogue is a Horror Movie Waiting to Happen

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t really understand Urban Outfitters.  The faded tee-shirts that look like they came from the bottom of a box in the back of Salvation Army and retail for 34 dollars, the “ironic” stupid hipster books they sell, the fact that I can’t really tell how most of the clothing there is supposed to be worn (is it a scarf, a sweater or a purse?).  Urban Outfitters has always eluded me, so maybe that’s why I don’t really understand what the hell is going on in the Fall catalogue.  What is clear to me, is that someone, at some point, decided the best way to sell clothes was to put them on drugged and/or emaciated looking models and then have those model all pose as though they are just about to be murdered by a serial killer, turned into a zombie, and/or are a ghost.  Makes sense, right?  Basically, every single model in the new catalogue looks like she’s participating in some sort of horror movie. 

Watch out, Girl Modeling the 20 dollar Huntington Scarf!!!!!!  Clearly you’ve just heard something alarming behind you causing you to turn your glassy eyes to look over your shoulder.  Was it an ax-murder sneaking up on you in the woods?  Maybe it was just someone just trying to chase you down so they can let you know jumpers are a really, really bad idea.

Oh no, Girl in 68 Dollar sweater vest!  You never should have left the camping trip/séance you were hanging out at with the Huntington Scarf Girl to go by yourself into the woods.  Something terrifying has obviously occurred on the left side of this photo and I really doubt you are going to be able to run far in those shoes.

This girl is clearly a ghost doomed to wander the woods endlessly looking for the pants that went with her overly expensive ponhco.  Seriously, if I was out alone somewhere and this girl walked by with her Samara Morgan hair and her limp, emaciated limbs I would head the other direction. 

I feel bad for this girl.  Unfortunantly, started her so much that she ran into the woods and completely forgot her dress is totally see through.  Not only that, but her dress doesn’t even look particuarly warm.  When the ghost girl shows up, I am pretty sure this girl is doomed.

This girl is obviously a zombie. 

 Urban Outfitters has clearly cornered the fashionable zombie, ghost, and horror movie vicitim market.

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Sep 12 2008

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AGeorgi

Proud American

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 I recently saw Tropic Thunder in the theatre and before it, I had the pleasure of seeing a trailer for a movie called Proud American.  The trailer was very confusing to me, as Tropic Thunder already had a series of fake and ridiculously over the top previews before it and it was very hard to tell if this ridiculously over the top preview was real or not.  When it started I began looking around at people next to me with a shocked, “is this really happening?” type gaze.  Anyway, it is real.  Very, very real.

Ladies and gentlemen, MasterCard, Coca-Cola, Wal-Mart present Proud American, a film by Fred Ashman who, according to the IMDB has pretty much only made… Proud American:

When this preview started, I initially thought it was a join the Marines commercial.  “Ah, they god rid of that guy climbing a mountain and fighting a digital dragon,” I thought.  “That’s nice.”  I quickly realized however that this was a trailer (although fake or real I still couldn’t tell) mainly because some with a deep voice starting saying things like “A kid from one of the toughest neighborhoods in the world, faces tought choices.”   On one hand the deep voiced narration and glossy overall feel made it seem like someone spent a fair amount of money on the whole thing, on the other, it seemed so over the top…with shots of the grand canyon intermixed with footage of pretty much every war memorial that exist, as well as a bunch of sailors.  Then the dialogue started and confused me even more. 

By far, the best part of this trailer is when Ruthie from 7th Heaven tells the poor immigrant girl she can’t sit at their table in the lunch room and then says “don’t you have a boat to catch” one of the worst and greatest “burns” I have ever heard.  The girl looks like she’s about 30, and I feel sort of sad for Ruthie.  I mean, is this really the only work she could get after 7th Heaven?  At least Jessica Biel is dating Justin Timberlake, which I would consider a fulltime job.

I also like the part where the paralyzed Navy Seal is inspired to participate in a marathon by some guy who comes in his hospital room, waves a medal in his face, and says “this is to remind you of who you are!”  I wonder how often this happens in actual hospital situations.  Like when I was a freshman JV basketball player (the only time in my life I was ever a basketball player) I won “Most Improved Player.”  Where I to ever be in a hospital, wanting to give up, I wonder if my mom would run in waving the certificate in the air and yelling that I should remember who I am. 

According to Walmart and Coca-Cola, this is what America is all about.  People in the most clichéd possible situations… I mean uh, “some of the most touching human moments ever presented on the giant screen” (according to the official site). 

 I plan on buying a Proud American coffee mug to show my support.

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Sep 09 2008

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AGeorgi

Bee Dogs

Yes, you read that correctly.  Beedogs.  Dogs.  Dressed as bees.  There is a whole webpage full of it.  I was going to put it in my “Things I Think Are Awesome This Week” but it’s too awesome for even that.  Beedogs.com is “the premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee costumes.”  I am so thankful that this webpage was pointed out to me, because until now I was scouring the internet looking for pictures of dogs in bee costumes and I found some okay ones, but never the “premier online repository.”  There really isn’t too much else to say about this awesomeness except that people seem to really, really like dressing their dogs as bees for some reason.  I guess I will have to put Sugar Bush Squirrel in my things are awesome instead.  If that CERN project in Switzerland does indeed kill us all tomorrow, I can die happy knowing this exsists.

BeeDogPageWow

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Sep 04 2008

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AGeorgi

Vogue Magazine. What the hell?

From BlogPictures

This is a short post, but I was reading Vogue magazine in the gym yesterday as I worked out and I can’t stop thinking about it.  I like reading magazines in the gym, since they always have awesome trashy ones that I would never read myself but would gaze longingly at while standing in the grocery store checkout.  For instance, I recently read about Brad and Angelina’s twins in People, babies that I should theoretically like or care about no more than I do normal babies, but babies I was fascinated with nonetheless.  Anyway, I don’t know if I have ever actually read a Vogue magazine, but I have heard about them a lot.  Vogue is in a lot of the trashy “chick-lit” books I read, and on Sex and the City Carrie really seems to like it (there’s a ringing endorsement!).  The issue they had, the August Issue was about looking good at any age (which only went up to your 50s, I supposed after that, according to Vogue, you either start pretending you are 40 again or die).  I thought I might get some good tips on how to dress so I snagged it and hit the elliptical trainer. 

I read approximately 4 articles in this magazine and I have to say that honestly I have NO idea what any of them were about.  Seriously.  I have fairly high reading comprehension, but Vogue magazine managed to elude me.  All I know is that where were lots of names of people I didn’t recognize in bold and then some pictures of women looking like they got hit with a stun gun.  I just really don’t get it, so I’m curious: is Vogue always like this?  Does it make sense to anyone, or is it the Playboy of women’s fashion and everyone mainly looks at the pictures?  What’s the deal?

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Sep 01 2008

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AGeorgi

Ferret, My Ferret

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My mind is rarely blown, but sometimes it does happen.  Specifically when I see things like this:

 Wow.

Happy Labor Day!

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