Sep 17 2008
Megan Fox has HGTEHBMSUS
There is something that occurs in Maxim Magazine interviews that I like to call “Hot Girl Trying to be Even Hotter By Making Stuff Up Syndrome” (or HGTEHBMSUS for short). Basically it occurs when a girl who is already ridiculously hot and famous in an incredibly obscure way (Brazil’s Number 1 Thong Model!) then gives an interview to Maxim magazine so that the men that purchase it have something to point to when they are trying to convince their girlfriends that they aren’t just looking at Thong Models. In this interview, the Hot Girl in question will make a variety of incredibly unbelievable statements that she obviously thinks will make most men find her even hotter. “There’s nothing I love more than giving my boyfriend a massage while he watches his favorite sports team and eats chicken wings,” the model will say (Maxim will then put this quote in bold on top of a photo of said model licking a popsicle). “I also really like wearing lingerie around the house while I clean, drink beers, and fantasize about that hot drunken night my college roommate and I had in Cabo” she’ll add. HGTEHBMSUS is basically the magazine equivalent of kissing your sobriety sister at a Frat party to get guys. Completely false, manipulative, and embarrassing for everyone involved and anyone that actually falls for it. So far, I had only seen it in Maxim magazine, but today HGTEHBMSUS hit a whole new level, it spread to GQ.
Megan Fox, last seen pretending to be the world’s most unrealistic 16 year old (even Michael Bay should be ashamed) in Transformers opened up to GQ about a lesbian affair she had when she was 18. It is safe to bet this was a hard decision for Megan Fox, but one she felt she had to make because it was a question being brutally honest with her adoring fan base (also one that had NOTHING to do whatsoever with the upcoming Transformers 2 and Fox’s movie “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” which opens October 3rd). From CNN:
Megan Fox has nothing to hide.
The candid 22-year-old “Transformers” star, who’s currently engaged to actor Brian Austin Green, opened up to GQ about her love life, telling the magazine she was once in love with a female stripper. Fox, who appears on the October cover in a black bikini, said she was in the relationship when she was 18 and first living in Los Angeles alone.
“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided - oh man, sorry, mommy! - that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” said Fox. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
Fox said Nikita would do “these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads.” The actress also said she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.
Fox’s publicist, Dominique Appel, confirmed the contents of the GQ report Monday.
Despite the brief relationship with a woman, Fox said she does not identify herself as gay.
“Look, I’m not a lesbian,” said Fox. “I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl - Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but … oh boy.”
Wow, Megan Fox, really? You just so happened to have had a hot lesbian affair that happens to sound exactly it was ripped from the dreams of the average 14 year old boy (your target audience)? If Megan Fox was going to make up some bisexuality to make herself more interesting you would think she would AT LEAST be a little bit more subtle about it rather than going all out and throwing in a strip club, a Russian stripper named Nikita (Hannah, is that even really a Russian name???), AND Aerosmith ballads. I mean, come on Megan Fox, did you guys also sometimes ride sweet fourwheelers together while you were wearing bikinis and drinking Steel Reserve? Did you have a day job where you were a librarian, but you know, a really sexy one?
Megan Fox then goes on to even further destroy any credibility by listing as her two celebrity crushes Olivia Wilde (who plays a bisexual on House and has also frequented Maxim’s “Hot Lists”) and Jenna Jameson (she wasn’t even trying with that one). I like how Megan Fox, (much like the Katie Perty song “I Kissed a Girl”) is quick to point out that she isn’t actually gay (average 14 year old boy you still have a chance!) she just likes women when in the most titillating possible scenarios. In fact, maybe Megan Fox and Katie Perry can get together and discuss how they like kissing super hot girls (Katie Perry claims her inspiration was Scarlett Johansson), but they hope their boyfriends are cool with it because they totally have boyfriends are not actually real lesbians.
Someone needs to call Nikita for a comment.
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