Arianna Georgi

In case anyone was curious… 

What I want in a man
 
I am not asking much really
a brain, a heart,
a liver.
Also, it may not be political correct
but between you and I
eyes, ears and nose
would be nice too.
 
I think you are also supposed to say that you would
like a sense of humor,
someone good with children
and close, but not too close, with their mom.
 
To be totally honest,
those things don’t matter too much to me
What is far more important,
is character.
 
For example,
I want a man
who will know what to do
in the event of a zombie uprising,
and when it started
he would grab a sawed off shotgun
and board up the doors.
I am sure I would be crouched under the table
or running up the stairs
or some other
equally bad idea
but my ideal man would stop me
and tell me
“we’re going to get through this
we just need to make it through the night!”
and then he would fire a shot over my shoulder
and kill a zombie I hadn’t even seen coming
and I would believe him
and it would be great. 
 
Or if we were on the Titanic
I would like the kind of man
who would demand we just cut our own lifeboat loose
and go
because I would be sitting on the deck
with the rest of the people waiting
and listening to the band play
while the ship went down.
 
It might be nice to have a mild mannered man
with a boring day job
who in the event of a crisis involving the world’s
computer systems
becomes an unlikely hero
and punches people
unbelievably well
and leads me to safety and says things like
“Man, I never should have gotten out of bed this morning”
Nice, except for the part about him being
mild-mannered to begin with.
 
In the event that I go
to a secluded cabin with some friends
and there is a serial killer on the lose
I want a man who will make it to the end.
 
I would be the girl saying how scared she was
and insisting that we all head home
right off the bat
while everyone else is drinking beers
and making out in the woods
 
and when all of our friends have been dispatched of
and we just barely manage to get the car started
and the killer run over
I want a man with the good sense to check
and make sure he is really dead
 
I guess the thing is
I am not very good in emergency situations
and I really wouldn’t fare well
in the event of a zombie uprising
or the end of the world
 
if we are going to talk about
what we want in men
why shouldn’t I list it all
why shouldn’t I start with
a brain
and end
by saying,
in a perfect world,
I want a man

that always knows the code
to deactivate
the nuclear bomb
 

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